How it happenedJust after my last post, there was a sudden change that happened at my school. What the change was does not matter in this context, but it did turn my understanding of my place and my role there upside down for a while. It took a lot of mental energy for me to develop new understandings and I was honestly a bit unsure of myself during that time. I was afraid to share here.
A realizationNow I realize that I should have blogged about a lot of that. Like many education bloggers, the topics of my posts are often inspired by experiences that I have every day at school. I do not write specifically about students or teachers without their permission, but I do share my research and ideas based on my work with them. During the last 2 months, I've done a LOT of research and thinking. The act of writing pushes me to organize and interpret that research and thinking into strategies that I can use and share here.
By failing to go through the writing process during that transition, I was failing myself.
Forgiving myselfI was probably ready to start writing a couple of weeks ago, but restarting was harder than I expected: What should my re-entry post be about? Was anything I was currently working on or thinking about interesting enough to share with other educators? The first post of my return had to about something important in order to be worthy, right?
Now that I read those questions typed out plainly on my screen, I can't even believe I let myself think those things. Those are precisely the questions of self-doubt that I'm often telling my colleagues to avoid as they venture into blogging. Educators who are willing to take the time to write about their professional work and share it with others are committing an act of generosity, inspiration, and selflessness. Your colleagues around the country and around the world learn more from you than you realize.
I have 3 or 4 more blog posts outlined in the notes app on my iPhone. I pledge the write them over the next few weeks and share them here. No more self doubt. No more perceived writer's block.
When you go through a similar time in your professional life, I hope you can remember this post and forgive yourself sooner than I did. Educators everywhere need your ideas and work so that they can grow and become better. Don't hold back.